The Boom Box

K-Bo’s Dirty Dozen (& Other Things) Re-Capping a Year of Music in 2010

kjbox76 — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 01:59:45 +0000

Preface:
This year was a complete turnaround from the previous year. Granted, I was still out of work for eight of the twelve months, but how found a great girl and established a solid family/living situation and now have a brand new job and opportunity to help people on a daily basis. Pay could be better – but it’s all growth at this point. Not a bad place to be as I embark upon ‘mid-30’s.’ In any case, they make up K-Bo’s Top 10 for 2010….love it or leave it…

12. Yeasayer – Odd Blood (ADA/Secretly Canadian

11. The Whigs – In The Dark (RED/ATO Records)

10.Shooter Jennings and Hierophant/Black Ribbons (RED/Rocket Science):

9. Monster Magnet/Mastermind (Napalm Records)

8. Crystal Castles/II (RED):

7. Kanye West/My Dark Twisted Fantasy (UMGD/GOOD Records)

6. Interpol/Interpol (ADA/Matador)

5. KORN/III: Remember Who You Are (WEA/Roadrunner)

4.Vampire Weekend/Contra (ADA/XL Recordings)

3. Kings of Leon/Come Around Sundown (Sony/BMG)

2.My Chemical Romance/Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (WEA)

1. Deftones/Diamond Eyes (WEA)

Best of The Rest:
Massive Attack/Heligoland
Fistful of Mercy/ST
Rogue Wave/Permalight
Taproot/Plead the Fifth
Danzig/Deth Red Saboath
Coheed & Cambria/Year of the Black Rainbow
Circa Survive/Blue Sky Noise
Black Keys/Brothers
Cee-Lo Green/The Lady Killer

Best Songs of the Year:
Fistful of Mercy, ‘Fistful of Mercy’
Circa Survive, ‘I Felt Free’
Coheed & Cambria ‘Here We Are, Juggernaut’
Coheed & Cambria ‘ Far’
ORION (Ryan Adams) ‘Electrosnake’
Cee-Lo Green ‘F*ck You’
Crystal Castles feat. Robert Smith ‘Not in Love’
Monster Magnet ‘Gods and Punks’
Deftones ‘Rocket Skates’
Interpol ‘Lights’
Shooter Jennings & Hierophant ‘All of This Could’ve Been Yours’
Kings of Leon ‘Radioactive’
Korn ‘Fear Is a Place to Live’
Massive Attack w/ Hope Sandoval ‘Paradise Circus’
Rogue Wave ‘Solitary Gun’
Sleigh Bells ‘Crown on the Ground’
Surfer Blood ‘Harmonix’
Yeasayer ‘Madder Rose’
Rob Zombie ‘Sick Bubblegum’
Danzig ‘On a Wicked Night’
Vampire Weekend ‘I Think Ur A Contra’
The Whigs ‘I Am For Real’
Taproot ‘Fractured (Everything I Said Was True)’
Smashing Pumpkins ‘Freak’
Murder By Death ‘Foxglove’
The Knife ft. Mt Sims & Planningtorock ‘Colouring of Pigeons’
Jack Johnson ‘You & Your Heart’
Black Keys ‘Everlasting Light’
My Chemical Romance ‘The Kids From Yesterday’
Kanye West feat. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj and Justin Vernon ‘Monster’

Biggest Disappointments/Worst Albums:
1. The Knife/Tomorrow, In A Year
2. Linkin Park, A Thousand Suns
3.Gorillaz, Plastic Beach

Looking forward to in ’11?
1. Cold War Kids
2. Iron & Wine
3. Twilight Singers

Laredo (Beautiful Pastures)

kjbox76 — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 18:05:42 +0000

Days like these are sad when you see a picture of someone you never really got to know as much as you would’ve liked. I wish I had different metabolism and that I was built bigger than I am. I wish I were more aggressive in certain areas or that I didn’t wear both my truth and my heart on my sleeve.

It’s weird enough having growing pains when you’re growing up. But when you’re all grown up and you are the way you are and it’s not enough for so many, nor even the ones you truly want to share with, it becomes an alltogether different animal.

I wish I were more successful. Perhaps then it wouldn’t matter as much about the whole relationship thing. Yet I’m not (yet) and it does. There were two weeks this year where I was truly happy again and (dare I say it) comfortable. I’d love to have those two weeks back…you never appreciate it as much as you should…

Gone For Good

kjbox76 — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 14:02:27 +0000

I’m never going back/Never going back to you/I’m never gonna see you again
I’m never gonna dig out your picture/I’m never gonna look you up someday

Life is very short/you don’t love me anymore/So I’m never gonna see you again

I’m never gonna write you a letter/Never gonna call you on the phone
I’m never gonna drive by your house/I’m never gonna catch you coming outside
Never gonna walk up your walk and ring your bell and feel you fall into my arms
No I’m never gonna see you/Never gonna see you/No I’m never gonna see you again

You’re gone for good…

Now I Know Why You’ve Been Taken

kjbox76 — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 02:56:03 +0000

I shouldn’t let it bother me but it does and I’m trying to wrap my head around WHY it does. It’s so easy to pay lip service to not planning on focusing on anything other than getting a job. To not let anything else take the focus. Yet it’s not as easy to live that line when you’re trying to put your entire life in balance.

I’ve often held on too long to things that were never that healthy to begin with. I feel as if I’m just sitting on this fence with a person and if I were to take a leap off and say, ‘Come with me…’ this person would hesitate and tell me, ‘but you don’t want to jump in as far and as fast as I want you to and I’m not going to take that risk on you.’ I guess it’s so bothersome because I do enjoy my time with her and do miss her when we’re not around and do wish she’d feel as close to me as in those first couple of weeks. However, when I don’t live up to her expectations and try to be rational about why I wanted to go slow, I feel as if we can’t meet a happy medium. She pulls back if I try to hold her and I’m not used to that. I don’t know how to be with her and not feel.

At the same time she’s still not over what she’s felt she lost. While I’m proud of her ability to continually use her writing as catharsis, the fact that she’s still struggling over the loss of that relationship, hurts me. Why? Because I feel used. We can both kiss, we can both be sexual with one another, but when she pulls back from embracing me and then writes out her true feelings, it stings. I know this isn’t her intention and that she isn’t trying to spite me in any way, but again it makes me question why I put myself in the middle of a situation that I’m left feeling crummy about and the girl hasn’t done anything wrong.

I guess I just have to get over it. Maybe I was a catalyst for her to move on and maybe we’ll remain friends from a distance, but something’s missing and we’re still a distance apart…

Passion Pit

kjbox76 — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 02:07:12 +0000

I was told today that my need for self preservation basically outweighed my passion. Naturally a statement like that, made by someone I care about, is cause for self reflection and careful thought. I was also told I wasn’t the same person that sent all of the emails/communications that I sent in the beginning and that I was pulling away. Now it’s also important to note that I thought I was the clearcut choice in the beginning but as it turned out, I wasn’t. After some time, this person decided they missed me and decided I deserved somewhat of an honest shot.

Now I don’t know how many people have been in a similar situation, or wouldn’t just be like ‘Eff it. You don’t wanna be with me? Fine. I’ll just move on.’ But I stuck around because I felt there was something deeper there and that this person really wasn’t happy in their current situation. When this person finally decided to give me a true chance, I sided with my gut and said ‘let’s take things slow.’ Most would respect that plea and understand where I might be coming from. I mean, I really had no guarantees that this person would stick around after the previous experience and I’ve never found anything that managed to work when one person jumps from one relationship to the next (see my last major relationship as a prime example).

The thing that really gets me is that I hung out with this person last weekend and we had, seemingly, a great time. We communicate daily and had plans to hang out this Friday. I was told I was pulling away and becoming distant though. I wish all relationships, at the front end, were like a Disney movie where the bluebirds perched on your shoulders and the chipmunks swayed to a happy-go-lucky whistle, but that’s just not reality.

I am passionate and yearn to find someone who shares some of my various passions and can bring new ones into my life as well. But I’m not going to sacrifice any more mental/emotional health on a lark. If someone wants complete intensity upfront to help them get through later on when things get tough – well that screams to me that they’re not going to be there for me when the chips are down and they lose any level of passion for me. I am a fan of building things slowly even if that means complicating things up front with actual, true feelings and thoughts instead of fantasy.

And yeah, on that point, I am a bit unapologetic.

Instant Gratification

kjbox76 — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 01:53:30 +0000

The older I’ve gotten the more I’ve focused on trying to enjoy the small moments. Specifically when savoring a good meal – either prepared by my mother’s loving hands, out at a high-end eatery, or a favorite local burger joint. It’s no longer about how fast I can consume.

For me, in love, I find myself feeling similarly. If I’m going to make a leap into love again, I’m just not sure I can rush it. I mean, every time I’ve fumbled blindly and let love lead, it’s caused more heartache. Maybe some lasting memories and great sex, but I want something deeper. I don’t want to get so caught up in a society that is so focused on how fast a download processes, or how quickly one can go from 0 to 60. Look at all of the great things that were built and have stood the test of time. Look at all of the people our parents age who are still in marriages. I can’t tell you how many of my friends are either single mothers or on their second marriages. I think some of them would be hard-pressed to deny that they were young, in love, too impressionable, and couldn’t take the moments they have now to look at things from a different perspective.

I suppose I wouldn’t trade where I am now for where I could be for the simple fact that there is no guarantee that where I would be, would be so much greater. I’ll take the slow burn over instant gratification – it’s got way more soul…

Moving Moments

kjbox76 — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 00:52:02 +0000

If you could dangle the world on a string, would you have the patience to let it spin at the right pace?
I’ve been down my share of tunnels where light kept escaping in front of me,
A version of you sits here with me, taunting, teasing and testing,
I wish I could see down the road far enough for you, for I
There is only today though…

We exchange in the hopes of playing out future scenarios,
But we don’t know how the game was constructed,
We merely move our pieces in turn, hoping we both reach the end together.

In Space, Perhaps We’re All Oddities

kjbox76 — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 23:58:42 +0000

Have you ever had the smell of blood in your nose? It’s all dried up and won’t bleed out, but it’s just there. It’s acidic and you wonder if the air is unusually dry. You even worry a little bit. Is there something wrong with me (besides the obvious)?

No one person can bring you happiness except yourself. That’s tricky though, b/c it’s perfect human nature to rely on others and to hurt when you do — and they let you down. Then we go through periods of time where we consciously say to ourselves that we are not going to pursue seriousness with anyone or anything. We’re just going to be. If it’s fun, great. If it’s more, well, that’s great too. Maybe that line of logic is passive, misleading and destructive. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.

I’m going to make the best of this weekend. A weekend for lovers. I have spent more V-Day’s alone than with someone. It’s hard thinking about your place in the grand scheme when you feel on the outside for a weekend. The weekend is supposed to be a time of recharging the batteries. But my batteries have been on some sort of a mid-level hum for awhile now. So in some ways, I feel this weekend I could be idling.

I have plans on Saturday though and I’m pretty damn excited about them. Again it’s one of those situations I’m going into with eyes open completely and the full intention of just having fun. I think it will be and that my eyes will still be open well after and that a smile may creep up on this face.

There’s a time for seriousness but for now, I’m keeping the blood at bay, and tears to a minimum. If I sweat a little, that’s O.K.

The Waiting Room

kjbox76 — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 14:14:54 +0000

This was written back at the end of November…

Your child is here, on this table, confused
‘How did I get here? Why is it so cold?’
It’s dark and the time is unrecognizable
‘When will I regain consciousness? When will life be ready for me again?’
In the past year, his life has been a fit of stops and starts
The brain processed what it could and the heart tried to handle the rest
But it’s a stifling air that’s caught in his lungs now
Losing the words to express it, or the ability to even speak up as time goes by, crippling
‘When will I regain consciousness? When will life be ready for me again?’
A set of rhythms are all that hold him in place, these days
Threatens to splinter apart at the loss of sound
And cry…just let the tears stream
The overcast skies show no mercy, they’re just as unjust as this feeling
‘My life has no sense to it. How do I ask for credibility now?’
So easy to dissolve without a loving gaze
The embrace is gone, ability to erase began too long ago
This is what becomes when invisibility takes place
Search for the soul, in a sense
So many sights unknown, you’ll forget what he looked like when he’s gone
Time does it’s part along with the shovel

American Names/Canyon Behind Her

kjbox76 — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 14:10:26 +0000

1-05-10

I stared out our front window this morning at the monstrosity of a house that was built last year across the way. It sticks out like a sore thumb in our neighborhood and I believe it carried a price tag about 3x as much as any of the houses around here. A new family recently moved in after it sat on the market for a few months.

Anyways, as I stared out at that house I thought about where I was a couple years ago. There was a youthful optimism that, like it or not, Melanie helped bring out in me. Maybe it wasn’t Mel at all. Maybe it was just being in a relationship that I thought was going somewhere. Maybe one day I will have that again. But the days of the calendar have changed, and this is today. I’m back to being unsure of what I want – I’m just older now.

2-09-10

What an incredible difference one month makes. Going out on dates with four different girls, settling into something that could’ve been incredibly ‘comfortable,’ with the last one, only to have rug ripped out at the last minute. It was no one’s fault. I mean, the big guy upstairs has lessons for me, and I realized that what I want isn’t going to be found in someone else’s arms, thoughts or heart. They’re going to have to want me for me – warts and all.

I now have no prospects – no line on the horizon so to speak. I’m praying that the company I interviewed with a couple weeks ago wants to give me a shot and that at least I can get back on my feet and my head into a new game. The heart can wait for now. The joker asked ‘Why so serious?’ – maybe he was on to something…