In Space, Perhaps We’re All Oddities

Have you ever had the smell of blood in your nose? It’s all dried up and won’t bleed out, but it’s just there.  It’s acidic and you wonder if the air is unusually dry.  You even worry a little bit. Is there something wrong with me (besides the obvious)?

No one person can bring you happiness except yourself. That’s tricky though, b/c it’s perfect human nature to rely on others and to hurt when you do —  and they let you down. Then we go through periods of time where we consciously say to ourselves that we are not going to pursue seriousness with anyone or anything. We’re just going to be. If it’s fun, great. If it’s more, well, that’s great too. Maybe that line of logic is passive, misleading and destructive. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.

I’m going to make the best of this weekend. A weekend for lovers. I have spent more V-Day’s alone than with someone. It’s hard thinking about your place in the grand scheme when you feel on the outside for a weekend. The weekend is supposed to be a time of recharging the batteries. But my batteries have been on some sort of a mid-level hum for awhile now. So in some ways, I feel this weekend I could be idling.

I have plans on Saturday though and I’m pretty damn excited about them. Again it’s one of those situations I’m going into with eyes open completely and the full intention of just having fun. I think it will be and that my eyes will still be open well after and that a smile may creep up on this face.

There’s a time for seriousness but for now, I’m keeping the blood at bay, and tears to a minimum. If I sweat a little, that’s O.K.

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~ by kjbox76 on February 11, 2010.

One Response to “In Space, Perhaps We’re All Oddities”

  1. Consider yourself lucky. Not to get all “woe is me” but I have NEVER found myself in a relationship on Valentine’s Day…I don’t even think I’ve ever dated someone on Valentine’s Day. This past weekend was not easy to get through (especially when it seemed like every time I went outside, the holiday got thrown in my face), but I made it. In the end, it’s just another day…or at least that’s what I try to tell myself.

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