K-Bo’s Dirty Dozen (& Other Things) Re-Capping a Year of Music in 2010

•December 8, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Preface:
This year was a complete turnaround from the previous year. Granted, I was still out of work for eight of the twelve months, but how found a great girl and established a solid family/living situation and now have a brand new job and opportunity to help people on a daily basis. Pay could be better – but it’s all growth at this point. Not a bad place to be as I embark upon ‘mid-30’s.’ In any case, they make up K-Bo’s Top 10 for 2010….love it or leave it…

12. Yeasayer – Odd Blood (ADA/Secretly Canadian

11. The Whigs – In The Dark (RED/ATO Records)

10.Shooter Jennings and Hierophant/Black Ribbons (RED/Rocket Science):

9.  Monster Magnet/Mastermind (Napalm Records)

8. Crystal Castles/II (RED):

7. Kanye West/My Dark Twisted Fantasy (UMGD/GOOD Records)

6. Interpol/Interpol (ADA/Matador)

5. KORN/III: Remember Who You Are (WEA/Roadrunner)

4.Vampire Weekend/Contra (ADA/XL Recordings)

3. Kings of Leon/Come Around Sundown (Sony/BMG)

2.My Chemical Romance/Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (WEA)

1. Deftones/Diamond Eyes (WEA)

Best of The Rest:
Massive Attack/Heligoland
Fistful of Mercy/ST
Rogue Wave/Permalight
Taproot/Plead the Fifth
Danzig/Deth Red Saboath
Coheed & Cambria/Year of the Black Rainbow
Circa Survive/Blue Sky Noise
Black Keys/Brothers
Cee-Lo Green/The Lady Killer

Best Songs of the Year:
Fistful of Mercy, ‘Fistful of Mercy’
Circa Survive, ‘I Felt Free’
Coheed & Cambria ‘Here We Are, Juggernaut’
Coheed & Cambria ‘ Far’
ORION (Ryan Adams) ‘Electrosnake’
Cee-Lo Green ‘F*ck You’
Crystal Castles feat. Robert Smith ‘Not in Love’
Monster Magnet ‘Gods and Punks’
Deftones ‘Rocket Skates’
Interpol ‘Lights’
Shooter Jennings & Hierophant ‘All of This Could’ve Been Yours’
Kings of Leon ‘Radioactive’
Korn ‘Fear Is a Place to Live’
Massive Attack w/ Hope Sandoval ‘Paradise Circus’
Rogue Wave ‘Solitary Gun’
Sleigh Bells ‘Crown on the Ground’
Surfer Blood ‘Harmonix’
Yeasayer ‘Madder Rose’
Rob Zombie ‘Sick Bubblegum’
Danzig ‘On a Wicked Night’
Vampire Weekend ‘I Think Ur A Contra’
The Whigs ‘I Am For Real’
Taproot ‘Fractured (Everything I Said Was True)’
Smashing Pumpkins ‘Freak’
Murder By Death ‘Foxglove’
The Knife ft. Mt Sims & Planningtorock ‘Colouring of Pigeons’
Jack Johnson ‘You & Your Heart’
Black Keys ‘Everlasting Light’
My Chemical Romance ‘The Kids From Yesterday’
Kanye West feat. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj and Justin Vernon ‘Monster’

Biggest Disappointments/Worst Albums:
1. The Knife/Tomorrow, In A Year
2. Linkin Park, A Thousand Suns
3.Gorillaz, Plastic Beach

Looking forward to in ’11?
1. Cold War Kids
2. Iron & Wine
3. Twilight Singers

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Laredo (Beautiful Pastures)

•April 14, 2010 • 1 Comment

Days like these are sad when you see a picture of someone you never really got to know as much as you would’ve liked. I wish I had different metabolism and that I was built bigger than I am. I wish I were more aggressive in certain areas or that I didn’t wear both my truth and my heart on my sleeve.

It’s weird enough having growing pains when you’re growing up. But when you’re all grown up and you are the way you are and it’s not enough for so many, nor even the ones you truly want to share with, it becomes an alltogether different animal.

I wish I were more successful. Perhaps then it wouldn’t matter as much about the whole relationship thing. Yet I’m not (yet) and it does. There were two weeks this year where I was truly happy again and (dare I say it) comfortable. I’d love to have those two weeks back…you never appreciate it as much as you should…

Gone For Good

•March 30, 2010 • Leave a Comment

I’m never going back/Never going back to you/I’m never gonna see you again
I’m never gonna dig out your picture/I’m never gonna look you up someday

Life is very short/you don’t love me anymore/So I’m never gonna see you again

I’m never gonna write you a letter/Never gonna call you on the phone
I’m never gonna drive by your house/I’m never gonna catch you coming outside
Never gonna walk up your walk and ring your bell and feel you fall into my arms
No I’m never gonna see you/Never gonna see you/No I’m never gonna see you again

You’re gone for good…

Now I Know Why You’ve Been Taken

•March 25, 2010 • Leave a Comment

I shouldn’t let it bother me but it does and I’m trying to wrap my head around WHY it does. It’s so easy to pay lip service to not planning on focusing on anything other than getting a job. To not let anything else take the focus. Yet it’s not as easy to live that line when you’re trying to put your entire life in balance.

I’ve often held on too long to things that were never that healthy to begin with. I feel as if I’m just sitting on this fence with a person and if I were to take a leap off and say, ‘Come with me…’ this person would hesitate and tell me, ‘but you don’t want to jump in as far and as fast as I want you to and I’m not going to take that risk on you.’ I guess it’s so bothersome because I do enjoy my time with her and do miss her when we’re not around and do wish she’d feel as close to me as in those first couple of weeks. However, when I don’t live up to her expectations and try to be rational about why I wanted to go slow, I feel as if we can’t meet a happy medium. She pulls back if I try to hold her and I’m not used to that. I don’t know how to be with her and not feel.

At the same time she’s still not over what she’s felt she lost. While I’m proud of her ability to continually use her writing as catharsis, the fact that she’s still struggling over the loss of that relationship, hurts me. Why? Because I feel used. We can both kiss, we can both be sexual with one another, but when she pulls back from embracing me and then writes out her true feelings, it stings. I know this isn’t her intention and that she isn’t trying to spite me in any way, but again it makes me question why I put myself in the middle of a situation that I’m left feeling crummy about and the girl hasn’t done anything wrong.

I guess I just have to get over it. Maybe I was a catalyst for her to move on and maybe we’ll remain friends from a distance, but something’s missing and we’re still a distance apart…

Passion Pit

•March 4, 2010 • Leave a Comment

I was told today that my need for self preservation basically outweighed my passion. Naturally a statement like that, made by someone I care about, is cause for self reflection and careful thought. I was also told I wasn’t the same person that sent all of the emails/communications that I sent in the beginning and that I was pulling away. Now it’s also important to note that I thought I was the clearcut choice in the beginning but as it turned out, I wasn’t. After some time, this person decided they missed me and decided I deserved somewhat of an honest shot.

Now I don’t know how many people have been in a similar situation, or wouldn’t just be like ‘Eff it. You don’t wanna be with me? Fine. I’ll just move on.’ But I stuck around because I felt there was something deeper there and that this person really wasn’t happy in their current situation. When this person finally decided to give me a true chance, I sided with my gut and said ‘let’s take things slow.’ Most would respect that plea and understand where I might be coming from. I mean, I really had no guarantees that this person would stick around after the previous experience and I’ve never found anything that managed to work when one person jumps from one relationship to the next (see my last major relationship as a prime example).

The thing that really gets me is that I hung out with this person last weekend and we had, seemingly, a great time. We communicate daily and had plans to hang out this Friday. I was told I was pulling away and becoming distant though. I wish all relationships, at the front end, were like a Disney movie where the bluebirds perched on your shoulders and the chipmunks swayed to a happy-go-lucky whistle, but that’s just not reality.

I am passionate and yearn to find someone who shares some of my various passions and can bring new ones into my life as well. But I’m not going to sacrifice any more mental/emotional health on a lark. If someone wants complete intensity upfront to help them get through later on when things get tough – well that screams to me that they’re not going to be there for me when the chips are down and they lose any level of passion for me. I am a fan of building things slowly even if that means complicating things up front with actual, true feelings and thoughts instead of fantasy.

And yeah, on that point, I am a bit unapologetic.

Instant Gratification

•February 26, 2010 • Leave a Comment

The older I’ve gotten the more I’ve focused on trying to enjoy the small moments. Specifically when savoring a good meal – either prepared by my mother’s loving hands, out at a high-end eatery, or a favorite local burger joint. It’s no longer about how fast I can consume.

For me, in love, I find myself feeling similarly. If I’m going to make a leap into love again, I’m just not sure I can rush it. I mean, every time I’ve fumbled blindly and let love lead, it’s caused more heartache. Maybe some lasting memories and great sex, but I want something deeper. I don’t want to get so caught up in a society that is so focused on how fast a download processes, or how quickly one can go from 0 to 60. Look at all of the great things that were built and have stood the test of time. Look at all of the people our parents age who are still in marriages. I can’t tell you how many of my friends are either single mothers or on their second marriages. I think some of them would be hard-pressed to deny that they were young, in love, too impressionable, and couldn’t take the moments they have now to look at things from a different perspective.

I suppose I wouldn’t trade where I am now for where I could be for the simple fact that there is no guarantee that where I would be, would be so much greater. I’ll take the slow burn over instant gratification – it’s got way more soul…

Moving Moments

•February 25, 2010 • Leave a Comment

If you could dangle the world on a string, would you have the patience to let it spin at the right pace?
I’ve been down my share of tunnels where light kept escaping in front of me,
A version of you sits here with  me, taunting, teasing and testing,
I wish I could see down the road far enough for you, for I
There is only today though…

We exchange in the hopes of playing out future scenarios,
But we don’t know how the game was constructed,
We merely move our pieces in turn, hoping we both reach the end together.